A Picture of Firsts...

Yes, we are still on vacation, and wouldn't you know it, we forgot our camera everywhere we went. This was the first time the family went to Steamboat Springs, the first time we saw SoFlaKid play baseball, the first time we bathed in hot springs....all without any pictures!

This got me thinking about all the firsts we encountered on our adoption journey without pictures. There are so many pictures of firsts that I wish I had. If I were to do this again, and yes we will, we are going to have a camera for the following firsts:

• The day we received the I-171A
• The day we mailed our dossier to the agency
• The day the agency receive the final dossier
• The day the referral email came
• The first time seeing a picture of our referral - not applicable to traveling blind
• Getting the A-OK from the IA Doctor
• The entrance to the orphanage
• Meeting your child - ask facilitator/translator to help. (we have lots of pictures of the child but not of us!)
• The first time the child smiles, laughs, frowns, cries as you hold your child in your arms
• The city you child is in - make sure you visit as many places as possible. You will need these as the child grows up
• The day you leave to go home
• The day you get your court date (Elle, Suzanne, Cathy - I am holding my breathe for today!)
• The day you leave to pick up your child
• The day you hold your child for the second time
• The court hearing - before and after
• The gotcha day

If I missed any, let me know. Next time, we will be prepared! I am going to start looking for one of those pocket digital cameras to keep in my purse. The smaller the better.

SoFlaMom

Some More Sites....

As promised, I have some more links to share. I work on 3 different computers and have links stored everywhere. This computer (that I am working in now) has the most saved links but I am pressed for time so I will only post a few.

We are leaving for vacation tomorrow to pick up SoFlaKid from Denver. If you have any advice on places tourists should go in Denver, let me know!

SoFlaMom

http://www.radzebra.org/

http://www.bgcenter.com/UnchartedWaters.htm

http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/

How to tell....

One of our worst fears is being matched with a child that is learning challenged. We have done lots of research about institutionalized children and how behind they are developmentally. This does not scare us as much as other challenges such as FAS, RAD, Autism, etc. There are a host of challenges that "could" happen. We are prepared to take on these challenges head on. But, at the same token, we would like to reduce the risk. Raising a child that learns differently takes lots of patience, time, motivation, and many other emotions I did not know I had. Having 2 children that learn differently would tax all of my newly acquired skills. Could we do it, sure we can! I think we are doing a fine job with SoFlaKid. Can we do it again? What can we do better? Are we at a stage in our lives that we can do it better? All of these questions are going through my head as we make our way through this journey.

There are many web sites to help PAP's identify potential issues. I will start to list some of these sites this week. I am sure they can help others trying to decide if they should accept their referral(s) or not

I got some pictures today of SoFlaKid with CCAU (see below for definition). Looks like they are having a great time! Nothing like flying a kite on a summer day.

SoFlaMom

http://www.aafp.org/afp/20050715/279.html

http://www.tufts-nemc.org/adoption/

http://www.nacac.org/howtoadopt.html

Moscow...the mystery city

Many PAP's first fly to Moscow before meeting their children. We, however, flew through Seoul, Korea on our way to Russia. We were able to see the beautiful Incheon Airport and Airport Hotel. http://www.incheon-hotel.com/eng/index.html The beds were a bit small and hard (extra firm mattress), but clean and quiet. Our experience was very pleasant. Moscow, which we thought we would see, remains that mysterious Eastern European city. We have read all about Moscow. Where to shop, where to stay, what to eat, how to get around. I feel like a tour guide to a city I have never visited. For the many PAP's doing their research, here are some sites that I have used:

http://www.metropol-moscow.ru/english/numbers.shtml

http://ukraina.all-hotels.ru/index.en.html?kk=fa6a67c358&nav=1

http://www.moscow-taxi.com/

http://www.go-magazine.ru/articles/show/748


What can I buy in Moscow? Or better, what can I buy in Russia? We wanted to get treasures for our child to learn their heritage. There are all kinds of items to get; nesting dolls, jewelry, ceramic eggs, etc. To preview some of the items to bring home, this web site is awesome!

http://www.russia4.com/

If you live in the Chicagoland area, take a look. I understand it is cheaper to purchase items in your child's region than in Moscow...the mysterious city. But without actually traveling there, I can not confirm. Let me know what you think.

SoFlaMom

Money, Money, Money....

How to fund an adoption? I have heard this over and over. Yes, we have the same thoughts as we are a 2 parent working family and need to stay this way. Once you make the decision to adopt internationally, money is just another part of the equation. Many people hold fund raisers, sell stuff on eBay, Avon, Pampered Chef, you name it! More conventionally, I have read that people take out loans. That is our category. Its hard to start making payments for a child that is not home yet, but here we are. The way I look at it, you can spend all your time saving up for retirement only to have the nursing homes take all your money, or you can spend your money on your children. Hmmm let’s see here:
Money = Nursing Home
Money = Children

I'll go the children route. So, who cares if I will be paying off loans for the rest of my life. This is what living is for! Loans for travel, apostilles, donations, agencies are only the beginning. Just wait until the child gets home. Then we have the pleasure of OT, therapists, private schools, PTA's, field trips, Optometrists, Pediatricians; the list is endless! Oh, and don't forget college! The upfront money is such a small price to pay in comparison to the love of a child - priceless. Therefore, we are just going for broke and living life as is should be...penniless

If you are struggling, like the rest of us, take a look at the links below. Some may help. Some may not. But once you get your child in your arms, it is all forgotten (so I am told).

http://www.angelfire.com/journal/adoptionhelp/adopthelp.html

http://www.davethomasfoundationforadoption.org/html/grants/index.asp

What Happened to SoFlaMom?

What a week and boy am I glad it is over. Being a working mom is hard enough but parenting 2,000 miles away is quite a challenge. SoFlaKid was not enjoying his camp experience this year. So luckily the Courageous Colorado Aunt & Uncle (CCAU) saved SoFlaKid by picking him up and bringing him home. He has been happy ever since then. CCAU have taken SoFlaKid hiking and mountain biking to cheer him up. Now that SoFlaKid is feeling better, CCAU has had the pleasure of seeing first hand what it is like to be parents. And they are doing just fine.

For those of you becoming first time parents, you will be happy to know that if CCAU can do it, so can you. CCAU have the option of sending SoFlaKid home but have opted to give the parenting thing a try. CCAU have been experiencing waking up a preteen in the AM, ensuring that a preteen goes to bed on time, looking out for internet safety (yes SoFlaKid is pretty savvy on the internet) and personal hygiene is met (pick your battles). In my humble opinion, I think that CCAU are doing a wonderful job becoming 1st time caregivers to a preteen.

Now that we are back into BAU, I will be able to post more on the blog. Thanks for hanging in there waiting for the next post!

SoFlaMom

What’s in a Name?

What to name a child. There are so many theories on this topic. Not being adopted, I can only speculate which one is correct. Should you keep the child’s given name? Was the birth name given by the birth mother? Will the child want to hold on to their heritage? Should you use the given name as a pet name (nickname)? Use the given name as a middle name? So many unanswered questions!!!

We had theories before we met our referrals. Then we took all the theories and through them out the window. When we met the children, we knew what we wanted their names to be. Or not. Our first referral was not accepted. Had we accepted her, we knew she needed to keep her given name. It was a feeling we got when we met her. Our second referral, we knew we wanted to change his name. We liked his given name but felt like it needed to be Americanized. So, when it comes time to name your child, go with your gut. You will know the right name to give your child.

After you pick out a name and bring your child home, I found theses sites to announce the arrival your child. I am waiting for the day that I can use one of these companies. For those of you who are waiting for a court date, take a look. Some of these sites are really neat!


SoFlaMom

http://www.2peas1pod.com/gallery/index.htm

http://www.picturemeperfect.com/products.asp?tb=aa

http://www.storkgrams.com/ANN_adoption.asp

Learn Some Russian

While we are floundering with what to do next, I thought I would share some websites that we have used on our journey. Learning a bit of Russian certainly helps when you travel. We bought a quick reference Russian/English book but when you really needed a word fast, it was useless. Learning the basics like Thank you, Bathroom, One, Two, Three, are necessities. And learn the word for half.

Example

We ventured out to the market to get some food. The market is similar to a Farmer's Market. Lots of vendors selling various items from Dairy to Meat. We wanted to purchase some cheese. Simple here in the states; cheese is prepackaged, sliced, with expiration date. Not so in the Far Eastern part of Russia. First we had to decide which cheese we wanted as all the signs are in Russian. We looked foolish trying to decide, "is it swiss, havarti, provolone?" Based on the color and shape of the huge chunk of cheese, we pointed. For those who have not traveled yet, throw out everything you learned as a child...pointing is a great way to communicate! The clerk took out the cheese and asked us a question (like we really understood???) We looked at her like a deer in headlights so she took out a knife and placed it on the cheese. She looked at us and said Da? Finally, as word we understood! We said "Nyet" proudly (a Russian word that is a necessity). Finally we were communicating in Russian (OK, only 2 words but hey, we were on a roll!). She moved the knife again and said Da? Nyet, too big. We went through this routine a few times before we got the size we wanted. Had we learned the Russian word half or quarter, we would have been out of there much sooner!

Oh, and by the way, Spanish does you no good either in Russia. Instead of Da, I kept saying Si. SoFlaDad would elbow me and say we are not in Latin America!

My point is using the below web sites will help you navigate your way through Russia. Learn the basics before you travel and point for the rest.

http://www.learningrussian.com/free.htm

http://www.livelaughlovelearn.com/gloss/

http://www.alphadictionary.com/rusgrammar/index.html

http://www.seanet.com/~ejones/Russian_words.pdf

SoFlaKid - Off To A Great Summer!

Well, we are what you call temporary empty nesters. SoFlaKid left yesterday for sleep away camp. We get 3 weeks of marital bliss! Well not really. SoFlaG'pa returns home on Monday. He is staying with us temporarily and graciously volunteered to take SoFlaKid to camp this year. The camp is located in the Rocky Mountains near Vail, Co. Kids from all over the world attend this camp. Last year there was a child from China and another one from England. If you are interested in some of the most beautiful vistas, take a look at their web site:

http://www.learningcamp.com/

Every year SoFlaKid comes home a new person, rejuvenated, and ready to tackle the mighty high adventure of Middle School. The owners of the camp, Ann and Tom are 2 of the most special people on this planet. They have dedicated their lives to help children become the best that they can be. And SoFlaKid is living proof that their perseverance pays off! We should receive some pictures from them soon that I will share over the next few weeks.

Another Roadblock....

Yes, it is official. The children will not be traveling at all this summer. There is a slight chance that they will be able to travel over Christmas/New Years, but it is a slight chance. Foiled again. I read that another hosting program was also cancelled this summer. Its so sad for the kids. Sad for the hosters too.

I think we need another strategy. We are feeling much better after our weekend away. Revived and ready for battle. Do we want to continue to try to adopt from Russia or should we try alternatives like China, Guatemala, US? Once we decide, we will go full force to get our child home. She is out there looking for us and we need to find her.

SoFlaMom